Shadow and Bone
December 4, 2025
Writer: Pavitra Sugatan
Every person carries different versions of themselves. There’s the version we show the world; polished, polite, and shaped to fit into society. We put on masks and create an image of ourselves that aligns with how we would like to be perceived. However, there’s a version we often keep hidden, full of impulses, fears, and feelings we’d rather not reveal nor acknowledge. These two sides are called the persona and the shadow.
The persona is like a social mask. It’s the part of us we wear to meet expectations, to belong, or to succeed in different environments. Think of how you act at a job interview, in front of your parents, or with close friends; each situation brings out a slightly different version of you and you form different personas that fit the given situation. The persona helps you navigate these worlds smoothly. It’s not necessarily being fake or playing pretend, but more of a necessary adaptation to make sure we fit society’s standards and don’t put ourselves in situations drawing embarrassment or awkwardness. But problems arise when the mask becomes too tight, when we start believing that this outer image is all we are.
The shadow is the side of ourselves that stays out of the light. It holds the qualities we deny or dislike about ourselves, such as anger, jealousy, selfishness, or even vulnerability. It contains our innermost thoughts and feelings that we’re reluctant to think much less acknowledge out loud. But yet, it can also contain positive traits we’ve suppressed, like creativity, confidence, or passion, especially if we’ve learned to see those as “too much.” The ideas we deem as “crazy” or “impossible” are often rejected internally, but when you take a chance to pursue said idea, so often we see how it then becomes “a stroke of genius”. The shadow doesn’t disappear just because we ignore it; it shows up in our slips of the tongue, our strong reactions to others, or the behaviors we can’t fully explain.
Learning to recognize the shadow isn’t about judging ourselves—it’s about becoming more whole. When we acknowledge our hidden parts, we gain self-awareness and compassion not only towards ourselves, but also towards others and how we perceive them. For example, noticing envy can help us understand what we truly desire and how to achieve it for ourselves. Facing anger might reveal a boundary that needs protection or some grief that hasn’t been fully addressed yet.
Balancing the persona and shadow means neither clinging to our social masks nor letting our darker impulses control us. It’s about integrating both the person we present to the world and the one we meet in our quietest moments. Doing so allows for authenticity: we can show up in life not as who we think we should be, but as who we truly are.
